9: Me and Rowan

EDIT:

For this shoot I decided to work again with just Rowan and I. After the other shoot I felt as I had a different approach to our future images together and wanted to explore this visually. I wanted to stay in keeping with the idea of physical contact between siblings, but wanted to be much closer and therefore decided to make self portraits of Rowan giving me a piggie back. I also felt that this related to how we behaved together as children, playing and fighting, I felt a little closer to him therefore felt it would be interesting to revisit behaviours we would have done when we were younger. I feel that this is an interesting idea as adults, you never see adults hold each other like this, and for myself and Rowan this was completely out of both of our comfort zones. However, had I had this idea and shot this at the start of the project it would not have even been possible. This is another visual representation of how our relationship has developed from the start of the work. This shoot was about representing our progressed closeness by showing us visually close again. Rowan was a big part of my life when I was growing up and both him and Jack were almost father figures due to a ‘patchwork family’. They had a massive influence on me, protected me when I was little, and are so important in who I am now. I wanted to show this support by having Rowan physically lift me, he may not know the support he gave me when we were children because it came naturally, but these images were very much about embodying the way in which our relationship is beginning to become like when we were children again.

Something I noticed when looking back on the images was Rowans hands. It was uncomfortable on his back and it did not feel very secure and I can now see that that is because he was not holding my legs, instead, his hands hang in mid air not holding onto anything. The only image where he actually holds me properly is the final image. I was unaware of this while we were shooting but it adds a whole other element to the work. I find it very interesting how Rowan still feels awkward about the physical contact between us. I feel that in these images, I am very close to him, I am hugging him tightly around the neck and have placed my own head very close to his, however there is still this uncomfortable relationship between us.

While I am happy with the reasons behind this work, and the way in which the shooting process felt, I feel that they are visually week. The lighting was a challenge as it was a dull day and therefore does not have the same kind of powerful lighting in my other work. I feel that this is a key aspect of the project (as it will continue in the future and this will be a key stage in its progression) however it does now have the visual qualities in order for it to be taken further to print, or display. I do however, think it has potential to be visually strong, so I aim to reshoot it, perhaps inside, where I have more control of the light.

I feel that there is something more in this idea, and would like to continue exploring it, perhaps not for the conclusion of this section of the project, however in the future when I carry this work on.