Through the stages of ESP1 I found myself going back to a theme within gender that I didn’t realise was so relevant in my own life. I have never made work about myself before, and it is something I was reluctant to do in ESP1. I am very interested in my relationship with my two older brothers, and the impacts of toxic masculinity and aggression on the sibling dynamic. There are many aspects to sibling relationships and I found the lecture ‘Pictures from Home: Photography and the Family’ by Nick Bright very relevant. It was interesting thinking about the family, and the way in which the family portrait can convey so much. I thought of my own family portraits, which we would have done in a studio every year and the impression they gave compared to the reality of my family. This work could potentially be a challenge to make as it covers difficult issues within my family. However, I think that I will approach it delicately, perhaps considering making a piece of work from multiple perspectives. I don’t want the work to be critical of anyone, or to try and force a one-sided opinion onto the viewer, instead I want it to be an exploration of the relationship I have with my brothers.
I would like to do a combination of film and moving image to represent my relationship with my brothers. I think that because gender still plays a part in the work I will still shoot in an opportunist way (like in ESP1) with my 35mm camera; if there are moments that could be used in my research or relate to the themes and ideas. However, I intend to do more considered shoots, including a variety of portraits of my brothers. Due to this project being about myself, I will consider the way in which I will include myself in the work, as I think self-portraits could be interesting. I don’t want the work to be literal, and I would like to shoot images that embody past events in a conceptual and contemporary way. I also intend on trying moving image. In ESP1 I was introduced to moving image and I think that this could open up the possibilities of representation. Moreover, if I use moving image I would like to experiment with sound, and am interested in doing a collaboration with someone who does sound design to create moods and atmospheres that fit my work. The piece will hopefully be a combination of medium format stills and a moving image piece, that will play on repeat in an exhibition space.
My intentions for this work are to explore my relationship with my brothers, the impact they have on me and on each other and the dynamic between the three of us. The work will be personal, and I hope to represent more than one side of the story. I would like to explore and share aspects of our relationship and depict them in a contemporary style.
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