Initial Thoughts: Test Shoot 1

THE EFFECTS AND DYNAMICS OF HAVING OLDER BROTHERS

Having two older brothers has effected me massively, growing up in a home when the male presence is the strongest in the house and the boys were such a massive part of my life growing up, in both good ways and bad.

• The comfort and protection of having older brothers.
• The emotional effects of being influenced by older brothers.
• The dynamic of support from both me to them, and them to me.
• The potential effects on my relationships with men.
• Having divorced parents, does having older brothers almost stand in for being a parent role? If you don’t live with your Dad, are brothers like a father role?

My family does struggle with empathy, everyone has their own side of the story and it is sometimes hard for everyone to see things from someone else’s perspective, this is EVERYONE not just my brothers, but also myself, my mum, dad and sister.

SHOOT IDEA: dress myself in my families clothes and play their role, see things from their perspective, live like them, be them and understand them better. Inspired by Trish Morrissey and her project FRONT where she played the role of mothers in families she saw on the beach.

 

TEST SHOOT 1:

 

TEST SHOOT 1 EDIT:

For this test shoot I was experimenting with the idea of being my brothers, inspired by Trish Morrissey, putting on their clothing and posing in their room to see what it could feel like to be them. I have always looked up to my brothers and I think that I am part of them, we have similar flaws. I have also included a photograph in the back ground of all three of my brothers as I wanted the photograph to be very male dominated, as if me and my brothers are all the same, they have influenced me so much that I have become them. I am happy with the outcome, however I think that I would like to shoot in a more delicate style, I feel that there is too much going on in this image for it to be an official shoot or to be visually pleasing enough.

When looking at my old family images and after reading Sahika Erkonan’s Photography and the Construction of Family and Memory, I begun thinking about emotional connections with memory, collective memory, and individual experience (I talk about this with my family portraits, in Shoots). As well as Trish Morrissey’s visually empathetic process this lead me to think about empathy and understanding between myself and my brothers. I feel that despite having the same parents, our conflict has created a disconnect between myself and my brothers, we are all two sides of the same coin, and I feel as that a lack of understanding of each other is a factor in this. Therefore, this shoot was also an experimentation of empathy, becoming my brother to understand him more. I look so similar to them, but feel so different to them, there is a division that I am trying to overcome through these self portraits.